Dear Nicole: Let’s just be friends

Dear Nicole,

I recently started seeing someone. On the fourth date he said he “just wanted to be friends.” I appreciate his honesty, and love hanging out with him platonically, but ever since this conversation, he has been pushy about getting physical. I’m not interested in getting physical with someone who just wants to be friends, and am really angry that he’s putting me in this, ah, position. What should I do?


This guy sounds lovely. OK, kidding aside, if someone makes you uncomfortable, you no longer need to put up with them, either romantically or platonically.

Points on his side: he has an agenda he’s been up front about.

Points against him: you don’t agree with said agenda.

I bet you’ll both be frustrated not being able to change each other’s minds eventually.

I think it might be good to take some time and mental distance to move to the friend zone, and he should give you space willingly and openly. If he doesn’t, I think the answer is obvious.

Onward and upward. There is even a sign that says it in my office, just to remind me not to put up with less than satisfactory behavior in the business sense either!

Dear Nicole,

An acquaintance gave me a Viagra pill, after I told him I was going on vacation with a new girlfriend. I’ve never taken it or had it prescribed, but I’m curious to see what happens. Should I pop it?

I Want a New Drug

So I know this is going to sound vaguely like an after-school special, but why are you taking pills from someone you don’t know?

Don’t take these pills. You don’t know what they are. Who knows how many people have touched them before your ‘acquaintance’ got them?

Secondly, what about dosage? How are you supposed to know how much to take? Have you been having problems in, er, ah, “that” area?

I once was in Italy and had to buy cold medicine. I walked up to the counter, acted out my symptoms, and the pharmacist gave me a box. I had no idea how much to take, side effects, etc., so I just took what seemed right. And nothing happened. But at least I was smart enough to buy these at a store and my only side effect was wasting $20.

If you are going to a new place with a new person, why would that be your time to try recreational drug use with effects you are unaware of? If I was your new girlfriend, I would question my choice in men and conveniently drop off the face of your earth after you told me this half-baked idea.

At the very least, talk to a doctor about potential complications, in a purely hypothetical way of course.

Dear Nicole,

I was supposed to go on a date with someone (would have been a first date), but he texted me and said he needed to reschedule last minute. I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, because I don’t know what happened, but at the same time, I’m not the kind of girl who is just going to wait around, especially for someone I don’t know well yet. Should I bother waiting for him to reschedule or move on?

Sighing By My Cell

I once was late for a date because I was in a car accident. It was a fender-bender and everyone was OK, but by the time the cops got there, etc., I was over an hour late. This was before cell phones so basically, I got to the coffee shop just as the guy was about to leave. I was pretty upset (so he knew I wasn’t lying) but all that date was spent talking about car accidents. We never had a second date. If only I could have rescheduled and got rid of the bad karma (or is is “car”ma?) immediately.

It might have been something dumb, or sad, or both that kept this guy away. He didn’t stand you up, so props for that. I’d give him another shot. He likely rescheduled so he could give your date its best shot at success. If he does it again though, just say “next!”

Nicole Ouellette

Nicole Ouellette

When Nicole isn't giving advice she's completely unqualified to give, she runs an Internet marketing company in Bar Harbor, where she lives with her husband Derrick and their short dog Gidget. She loves young adult novels, cooking and talking French to anyone who'll talk back. [email protected]
Nicole Ouellette

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